{"id":726,"date":"2023-09-03T22:00:33","date_gmt":"2023-09-03T20:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laszlo8360.com\/?p=726"},"modified":"2024-06-15T17:37:43","modified_gmt":"2024-06-15T15:37:43","slug":"2023-szeptember-03","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laszlo8360.com\/en\/2023-szeptember-03\/","title":{"rendered":"2023 szeptember 03."},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

September 3, 2023, Sunday<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will jot down some fragments of thoughts about my Sunday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Honestly, how did I feel on Sunday?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the morning, we watched a parade in the neighboring village. It was nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We went to the city. We strolled through the harbor and the old town. It was good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My travel companion finished a bottle of wine in less than an hour. It was uncomfortable in front of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We took a bus to the seaside. We swam a bit. It was good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the afternoon, my male companion started getting belligerent from drinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I watched a bullfight. (Even though I feel sorry for the animals,) it was entertaining. I enjoyed the spectacle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I told my travel companion, “Let’s sit down to eat, you haven’t eaten today.” She sat down to drink wine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, she staggered from wall to wall. I don’t like that kind of behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Furthermore, it was impossible to have a conversation with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She no longer listens. She just talks. Frustrating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She couldn’t make it to the bus stop without support. It was uncomfortable in front of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite all this, I still like her character. For example, when we returned to the city, she managed to persuade some Arabs to give us a ride home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what should I think of my Sunday?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You relieve tension with alcohol, I do it with hiking. Your sport is not my sport. Nevertheless, you are an amazing person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel sorry for those who don’t seek any way to deal with the negative energy building up inside them. Although alcohol is not a socially accepted way of handling problems, I still think it’s a bit better than mere self-flagellation. Of course, the real mysteries are still unsolved, and the fundamental questions remain unanswered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Do you still have money?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You know I handle it well.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, a sober alcoholic. “Tomorrow we’ll sleep in, relax, and watch a movie.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, we will, but you still don’t know that we’ll be doing that in two different places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’ll be good friends, but I won’t be your drinking partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I met the guy again who escorted us to the bus stop on Sunday. He asked what the guy drank, at least a bottle of whiskey, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m going crazy! He analyzes Bea just for that reason! In fact, if I start poking at his healing wounds, he turns from teasing to aggressive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He says that Bea talks a lot. I know. I also talk a lot in an open company. But what was he aiming for with this abandoned weird accent?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He says I’m not over it, he says I never will be. Maybe you’re right. But life goes on. I’m walking too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I received another tormenting question: What have you planned, how will you live? Where? Exactly how and what kind of future did you imagine with him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z, in his drunken state, did not call her a princess. In a less kind word, he indicated that he thinks he likes to shape his relationships according to his interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get it, that’s not exactly a nice sign. Unfortunately, that’s the way the world is. Relationships matter… I couldn’t be mad at him for trying to assert himself in the world he lives in!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine a person who does not use his connections to any extent. Scale is the real question…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m the lucky one who saw his other self too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We will never really be a couple. He says very well that safety is at least as important a word as inspiration. I believe that I can be an inspiring person in his life, but I will never be the person who not only supports the children, but also him. Because my goal is not to be rich, I just want to live well. For him, the material manifestations of material security are important. He just wants a normal life for himself. Would this really be a problem now?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why did I understand Bea? Because, for example, I used to be like that. I used people. Today I do it differently. Today I no longer have a downtown home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did not fully agree with my drunk conversation partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One thing I don’t find in Bea is malice; And in my value system, this is one of the most important aspects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Voici quelques fragments de pens\u00e9es que j’ai not\u00e9s au sujet de mon dimanche.

Honn\u00eatement, comment me suis-je senti dimanche ?

Le matin, nous avons assist\u00e9 \u00e0 un d\u00e9fil\u00e9 dans le village voisin. C’\u00e9tait bien.

Nous sommes all\u00e9s en ville. Nous nous sommes replong\u00e9s dans la nostalgie du port et de la vieille ville. C’\u00e9tait bien.

Mon compagnon de voyage a bu une bouteille de vin en moins d’une heure. C’\u00e9tait g\u00eanant.

Nous sommes all\u00e9s en bus \u00e0 la plage. Nous avons nag\u00e9. C’\u00e9tait bien.

L’apr\u00e8s-midi, mon compagnon \u00e9tait d\u00e9j\u00e0 bien ivre.

J’ai regard\u00e9 une corrida. (M\u00eame si je suis d\u00e9sol\u00e9 pour les animaux,) c’\u00e9tait amusant. J’ai appr\u00e9ci\u00e9 le spectacle.

Je dis \u00e0 mon compagnon de voyage que nous devrions nous asseoir pour manger car il n’avait pas encore mang\u00e9 aujourd’hui. Il s’est assis pour boire du vin.

Ensuite, il a titub\u00e9 de mur en mur. Je n’aime pas \u00e7a.

De plus, il \u00e9tait impossible de discuter avec lui.

Il ne m’\u00e9coute plus. Il parle seulement. C’est exasp\u00e9rant.

Il \u00e9tait incapable de rentrer \u00e0 l’arr\u00eat de bus sans aide. C’\u00e9tait g\u00eanant.

Cependant, j’aime bien son caract\u00e8re. Par exemple, quand nous sommes revenus en ville, il a engueul\u00e9 les Arabes pour qu’ils nous ram\u00e8nent chez nous en voiture.

Alors, que dois-je penser de mon dimanche ?

Tu g\u00e8res la tension avec de l’alcool, moi avec des randonn\u00e9es. Ton sport n’est pas le mien. Sinon, tu es une personne g\u00e9niale.

Je plains ces gens qui ne trouvent aucun moyen de g\u00e9rer l’\u00e9nergie n\u00e9gative qui s’accumule en eux. L’alcool n’est pas une m\u00e9thode socialement accept\u00e9e pour r\u00e9soudre les probl\u00e8mes, mais je lui accorde encore un peu plus de valeur que l’auto-flagellation pure. Les myst\u00e8res ne sont pas encore r\u00e9solus \u00e0 ce stade. Les questions essentielles restent sans r\u00e9ponse.

“Tu as encore de l’argent ?”

“Tu sais que je sais en prendre soin.”

H\u00e9, un alcoolique sobre. “Demain, nous dormirons toute la journ\u00e9e, nous nous reposerons et nous regarderons un film.”

Cela se passera ainsi, mais tu ne sais pas encore, mon ami, que nous le ferons dans deux endroits diff\u00e9rents.

Nous serons de bons amis, mais l’alcoolisme n’est pas mon truc. Je ne serai pas partenaire de ta consommation d’alcool.

J’ai rencontr\u00e9 \u00e0 nouveau le gars qui nous a accompagn\u00e9s \u00e0 l’arr\u00eat de bus dimanche. Il a demand\u00e9 ce que le gars avait bu, au moins une bouteille de whisky, n’est-ce pas ?

Je deviens fou ! Il ne cesse pas d’analyser Bea. Cependant, si je commence \u00e0 gratter ses plaies en gu\u00e9rison, il devient agressif.

Il dit que Bea parle beaucoup. Je le sais. Je parle aussi beaucoup dans un groupe ouvert. Mais qu’est-ce qu’il voulait dire avec cette intonation \u00e9trange et inachev\u00e9e ?

Il dit que mes sentiments n’ont pas disparu. Il dit que je ne la surmonterai jamais. Peut-\u00eatre a-t-il raison. Mais la vie continue. Je continue aussi.

J’ai re\u00e7u une autre question douloureuse : Qu’as-tu pr\u00e9vu, comment allez-vous vivre ensemble ? O\u00f9 ? Exactement, comment imaginais-tu l’avenir avec elle ?

Ivres, il ne l’a pas appel\u00e9e une princesse. Il a utilis\u00e9 un terme moins gentil pour indiquer qu’il pr\u00e9f\u00e8re fa\u00e7onner ses relations selon ses propres int\u00e9r\u00eats.

Je comprends, ce n’est pas exactement un compliment sympathique. Malheureusement, c’est ainsi que le monde fonctionne. Les relations comptent… Je ne pourrais pas lui en vouloir de vouloir r\u00e9ussir dans le monde o\u00f9 il vit !

Imaginez quelqu’un qui n’utilise pas du tout ses relations. La mesure est la vraie question…

Je suis chanceux d’avoir vu son autre c\u00f4t\u00e9 !

En r\u00e9alit\u00e9, nous ne serons jamais un couple. Il dit clairement que la s\u00e9curit\u00e9 est au moins aussi importante que l’inspiration. Je pense que je peux \u00eatre une personne inspirante dans sa vie, mais je ne serai jamais celle qui le maintiendra financi\u00e8rement (et sa femme n’aura rien \u00e0 faire). Parce que je n’ai pas l’intention d’\u00eatre riche, je veux juste vivre confortablement. Pour lui, les manifestations mat\u00e9rielles de la s\u00e9curit\u00e9 financi\u00e8re sont importantes. Est-ce vraiment un probl\u00e8me maintenant ?

Pourquoi je comprends Bea ? Parce qu’autrefois, j’\u00e9tais comme \u00e7a aussi. J’utilisais les gens. Aujourd’hui, je fais les choses diff\u00e9remment. Aujourd’hui, je n’ai plus de pied-\u00e0-terre en centre-ville.

Je n’\u00e9tais pas tout \u00e0 fait d’accord avec mon partenaire de conversation ivre.

Il y a une chose que je ne trouve pas en Bea, c’est la malveillance ; et dans ma vision des choses, c’est l’un des crit\u00e8res les plus importants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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2023 szeptember 03. vas\u00e1rnap

Most n\u00e9h\u00e1ny gondolat foszl\u00e1ny fog k\u00f6vet\u00adkezni, melyeket a vas\u00e1rnapommal kapcsolat\u00adban jegyeztem fel.


\u0150szint\u00e9n, hogyan \u00e9reztem magam vas\u00e1rnap?

D\u00e9lel\u0151tt megn\u00e9zt\u00fcnk egy felvonul\u00e1st a – szomsz\u00e9d faluban. J\u00f3 volt.

Bement\u00fcnk a v\u00e1rosba. Nosztalgi\u00e1ztunk a ki\u00adk\u00f6t\u0151ben \u00e9s az \u00f3v\u00e1rosban. J\u00f3 volt.

Az \u00fatit\u00e1rsam, alig egy \u00f3ra alatt elfogya\u00adsztott egy \u00fcveg bort. \u00c9g\u0151 volt.

El buszoztunk a tengerhez. \u00dasztunk egyet. J\u00f3 volt.

Az \u00fatit\u00e1rsam, d\u00e9lut\u00e1n \u00f6tre k\u00f6teked\u0151re itta

mag\u00e1t.

Megn\u00e9ztem egy bikaviadalt. (M\u00e9g, ha saj\u00adn\u00e1lom is az \u00e1llatokat,) j\u00f3 m\u00f3ka volt. \u00c9l\u00adveztem a felhajt\u00e1st.

Mondom az \u00fati t\u00e1rsamnak, \u00fclj\u00fcnk le enni, mert ma m\u00e9g nem evett. Le\u00fclt borozni.

Ezt k\u00f6vet\u0151en, falt\u00f3l falig d\u00fcl\u00f6ng\u00e9lt. Nem szeretem az ilyet.

Emellett, lehetetlen volt vele besz\u00e9lgetni.

M\u00e1r nem hallgat meg. Csak besz\u00e9l. D\u00fch\u00edt\u0151.

K\u00e9ptelen volt t\u00e1mogat\u00e1s n\u00e9lk\u00fcl eljutni a buszmeg\u00e1ll\u00f3ig. \u00c9g\u0151 volt.

Am\u00fagy b\u00edrom a jellem\u00e9t. P\u00e9ld\u00e1ul, vissza \u00e9rkezve a v\u00e1rosba, ledum\u00e1lta az arabokkal, hogy vigyenek minket haza kocsival.

Most m\u00e9gis mit gondoljak a vas\u00e1rnapomr\u00f3l?!


Te a fesz\u00fclts\u00e9get alkohollal oldod, \u00e9n t\u00far\u00e1z\u00e1ssal. A te sportod nem az \u00e9n sportom. Egy\u00e9bk\u00e9nt zseni\u00e1lis ember vagy.


Azokat az embereket tudom sz\u00e1nni, akik semmilyen, de semmilyen m\u00f3dot nem keresnek arra, hogy kezelj\u00e9k a benn\u00fck felgy\u00fcleml\u0151 negat\u00edv energi\u00e1kat. Az alkohol t\u00e1rsadalmilag nem elfogadott m\u00f3dja a probl\u00e9m\u00e1k kezel\u00e9s\u00e9nek m\u00e9gis egy picit t\u00f6bbre tartom mint a puszta \u00f6nmarcangol\u00e1st. Persze, a relyt\u00e9jek ezen a ponton nincsenek megfejtve. A l\u00e9nyegi k\u00e9rd\u00e9sek m\u00e9g nincsenek megv\u00e1laszolva..


” Maradt m\u00e9g p\u00e9nzed? “

“Tudod, hogy j\u00f3l b\u00e1nok vele”

Nini, egy j\u00f3zan \u00e9let\u0171 alkolista. \u201eHolnap eg\u00e9sz nap alszunk pihen\u00fcnk filmet n\u00e9z\u00fcnk.”

\u00cdgy-is lesz, csak azt te m\u00e9g nem tudod, bar\u00e1tom, hogy ezt k\u00e9t k\u00fcl\u00f6nb\u00f6z\u0151 helyen csi\u00adn\u00e1ljuk.


J\u00f3 bar\u00e1tok lesz\u00fcnk, de az alkoholizmus az nem az \u00e9n sportom. Az italoz\u00e1sban nem leszek partner.


Megint \u00f6ssze tal\u00e1lkoztam a sr\u00e1ccal, aki vas\u00e1rnap elk\u00eds\u00e9rt minket a buszmeg\u00e1ll\u00f3ig.\u00a0 Azt k\u00e9rdezte, mit ivott a sr\u00e1c, minimum egy \u00fcveg whiskyt ugye?


Meg\u0151r\u00fcl\u00f6k! Csak az\u00e9rt is Be\u00e1t elemezgeti! Bezzeg, ha \u00e9n kezdem el meg piszk\u00e1lni az \u0151 gy\u00f3gyul\u00f3f\u00e9lben sebeit, akkor k\u00f6teked\u0151b\u0151l \u00e1t\u00adv\u00e1lt agressz\u00edvv\u00e1.


Azt mondja Bea sokat besz\u00e9l. Tudom. \u00c9n is sokat besz\u00e9lek egy nyitott t\u00e1rsas\u00e1gban. De most m\u00e9gis mire c\u00e9lzott ezzel a f\u00e9lbehagyott fura hangs\u00fallyal?!


Azt mondja nem vagyok t\u00fal rajta, azt mondja sosem leszek. Tal\u00e1n igaza van. Viszont az \u00e9let tov\u00e1bbl\u00e9p. \u00c9n is l\u00e9pek.


Kaptam egy \u00fajabb k\u00ednz\u00f3 k\u00e9rd\u00e9st: Mit tervezt\u00e9l, hogyan fogtok \u00e9lni? Hol? Pontosan, hogyan \u00e9s milyen j\u00f6v\u0151t k\u00e9pzelt\u00e9l el vele ?


\u0150 nem hercegn\u0151nek nevezte r\u00e9szegen. Egy k\u00e9v\u00e9sb\u00e9 kedves sz\u00f3val jelezte, hogy szerinte szereti az \u00e9rdekei ment\u00e9n alak\u00edtani a kapcsolatait.


\u00c9rtem, ez nem \u00e9ppen szimpatikus jelz\u0151. Sajnos a vil\u00e1g ilyen. A kapcsolatok sz\u00e1m\u00edtanak… Nem tudn\u00e9k r\u00e1 az\u00e9rt haragudni, mert abban a vil\u00e1gban akar \u00e9rv\u00e9nyes\u00fclni, amelyikben \u00e9l!

K\u00e9pzelj\u00fck el azt az embert, aki semilyen m\u00e9rt\u00e9kben nem haszn\u00e1lja a kap\u00adcsolatait. A m\u00e9rt\u00e9k az igazi k\u00e9rd\u00e9s…

\u00c9n vagyok az a szerencs\u00e9s, aki l\u00e1tta a m\u00e1sik \u00e9nj\u00e9t is!


Val\u00f3j\u00e1ban sosem lesz\u00fcnk egy p\u00e1r. \u0150 t\u00f6k j\u00f3l kimondja, hogy a biztons\u00e1g legal\u00e1bb annyira fontos sz\u00f3, mint az inspir\u00e1ci\u00f3. \u00c9n \u00fagy v\u00e9lem, lehetek az \u0151 \u00e9let\u00e9ben egy inspir\u00e1l\u00f3 szem\u00e9ly, viszont \u00e9n sosem leszek az a szem\u00e9ly, aki nem\u00a0 csup\u00e1n a gyerekeket, hanem \u0151t is eltartja. Ugyanis nekem nem c\u00e9lom gazdagnak lenni, \u00e9n csak j\u00f3l akarok \u00e9lni. Neki pedig fontosak az anyagi biztons\u00e1g t\u00e1rgyi megnyilv\u00e1nul\u00e1sai. Csak norm\u00e1lis \u00e9letet akar mag\u00e1nak. Ez most t\u00e9nyleg probl\u00e9ma lenne?!


Hogy mi\u00e9rt \u00e9rtem meg Be\u00e1t? Mert p\u00e9ld\u00e1ul r\u00e9gen \u00e9n is ilyen voltam. \u00c9n haszn\u00e1ltam az embereket. Ma m\u00e1r m\u00e1sk\u00e9pp csin\u00e1lom. Ma m\u00e1r nincs belv\u00e1rosi otthonom.


Nem \u00e9rtettem teljesen egyet r\u00e9szeg besz\u00e9lget\u0151 partneremmel.

Egy valamit nem tal\u00e1lok meg Be\u00e1ban, m\u00e9gpedig a rosszindulatot; \u00c9s az \u00e9n \u00e9rt\u00e9krendemben ez az egyik legfonto\u00adsabb szempont. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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