{"id":1120,"date":"2024-04-14T21:24:21","date_gmt":"2024-04-14T19:24:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/laszlo8360.com\/?p=1120"},"modified":"2024-06-09T17:24:43","modified_gmt":"2024-06-09T15:24:43","slug":"2024-aprilis-14","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laszlo8360.com\/fr\/2024-aprilis-14\/","title":{"rendered":"2024. \u00e1prilis 14."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">parentifik\u00e1ci\u00f3 | parentification | parentalit\u00e9<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/laszlo8360.files.wordpress.com\/2024\/04\/20240414-page188.png\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/laszlo8360.files.wordpress.com\/2024\/04\/20240414-page188.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6353\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-spotify wp-block-embed-spotify wp-embed-aspect-21-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Spotify Embed: L\u00e9lekben (2024. \u00e1prilis 13., szombat 12:05): Bib\u00f3k Bea \u00e9s B\u00e1novits Ott\u00f3\" style=\"border-radius: 12px\" width=\"100%\" height=\"152\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/0BCezIt566GM9cnWGeBxnE?si=uIIQ7nIZQDurffFEYb0kFQ&#038;utm_source=oembed\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Based on the self-diagnoses so far, I could be ADHD, PTSD, autistic, parentified or just unique. Today, Endre Kadarka&rsquo;s radio programme L\u00e9lekben was about parentification. I&rsquo;m now looking for points that might even apply to me. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0They have to shoulder a responsibility in the family that is not suited to their age.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The parent is unable to support the child in an adult way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0The sense of entitlement that I have to assert my own needs doesn&rsquo;t develop.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0They leave home pretty early on.\u00a0\u00bb They start making money early.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0They have an insecure attachment.\u00a0\u00bb We learn to bond with our mothers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I also took checks to the post office at the age of six, I went to the store alone, and at the age of eight I went to kindergarten for my younger siblings. I was really proud of them. Even now, I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s unusual. These weren&rsquo;t everyday occurrences. However, I know a woman (an ex-girlfriend of mine) who, at the age of ten, took on the full responsibilities of mother and housewife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0They feel very independent.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0A different type of mother who puts her daughter in a kind of girlfriend status.\u00a0\u00bb \u201cThese are my cousins.\u201d I was born to teenage parents. My cousins see this as a normal status, and they&rsquo;re particularly proud of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Safety is when everything is in order.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0People who are hooked on relationships.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0I&rsquo;d like to start my own family.\u00a0\u00bb And lo and behold, my sister and brother are doing just that. I said that I wanted a family like I never had. But I was afraid of commitment, so I kept moving on from one relationship to the next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0I&rsquo;m only valuable when I&rsquo;m meeting someone else&rsquo;s needs.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0I&rsquo;m looking for something good.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0These kids often end up so far away from their parents by the time they&rsquo;re adults that they&rsquo;re basically invisible to them.\u00a0\u00bb I haven&rsquo;t spoken to my father in almost three months. I speak to my mum every couple of months, but I haven&rsquo;t been over to her house for almost a year and a half.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I should mention that this fussiness, where the mother doesn&rsquo;t let go of the child&rsquo;s hand, is something I&rsquo;ve seen in another ex-girlfriend of mine. The older brother was always told to solve things on his own and be independent. Well, he did better than his mother (wife, good job, two children) and she kept little Hug close to her. They spoke several times a day and she is his best friend. My ex still lives with his parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Can these processes be improved or reversed? You&rsquo;re about care, awareness, and self-reflection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0You&rsquo;re most upset with yourself.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Casanova was really in love with women, and Don Juan wanted to conquer women.\u00a0\u00bb I was also in love with my girlfriends. I thought my role was to help them. In other words, I wanted to help them make better choices. Absolutely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Parentification is another option.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/laszlo8360.files.wordpress.com\/2024\/04\/20240416_110222.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6354\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">D&rsquo;apr\u00e8s les autodiagnostics r\u00e9alis\u00e9s jusqu&rsquo;\u00e0 pr\u00e9sent, je pourrais \u00eatre atteint de TDAH, de TSPT, d&rsquo;autisme, de parentification ou tout simplement d&rsquo;un individu. L&rsquo;\u00e9mission de radio d&rsquo;Endre Kadarkai, In the Spirit, portait aujourd&rsquo;hui sur la parentification. Je cherche maintenant d\u00e9lib\u00e9r\u00e9ment des points qui pourraient s&rsquo;appliquer \u00e0 moi \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Ils doivent vivre dans la famille avec un sens des responsabilit\u00e9s qui n&rsquo;est pas appropri\u00e9 \u00e0 leur \u00e2ge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le parent \u00ab ne peut pas apporter \u00e0 l&rsquo;enfant le soutien d&rsquo;un adulte \u00bb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Je ne d\u00e9veloppe pas le droit de faire valoir mes propres besoins. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Ils quittent la maison tr\u00e8s t\u00f4t. Ils gagnent de l&rsquo;argent tr\u00e8s t\u00f4t. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Attachement ins\u00e9curis\u00e9. Nous apprenons l&rsquo;attachement de notre m\u00e8re. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">J&rsquo;ai port\u00e9 un ch\u00e8que \u00e0 la poste \u00e0 l&rsquo;\u00e2ge de six ans, je suis all\u00e9e \u00e0 l&rsquo;\u00e9picerie toute seule, je suis all\u00e9e \u00e0 l&rsquo;\u00e9cole maternelle \u00e0 l&rsquo;\u00e2ge de huit ans pour chercher mes fr\u00e8res et s\u0153urs plus jeunes. J&rsquo;\u00e9tais tr\u00e8s fi\u00e8re de ces choses. Aujourd&rsquo;hui encore, je ne trouve pas cela anormal. Il ne s&rsquo;agissait pas d&rsquo;occasions r\u00e9guli\u00e8res. En revanche, je connais une femme (une ex-copine) qui a assum\u00e9 toutes les t\u00e2ches maternelles et m\u00e9nag\u00e8res \u00e0 l&rsquo;\u00e2ge de dix ans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Ils se sentent tr\u00e8s ind\u00e9pendants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Un autre type de m\u00e8re qui fait de sa fille une petite amie. Ce sont mes s\u0153urs. Je suis l&rsquo;enfant de parents adolescents. Ce statut de petite amie est consid\u00e9r\u00e9 comme normal par mes s\u0153urs, elles en sont tr\u00e8s fi\u00e8res.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab C&rsquo;est la s\u00e9curit\u00e9 du nombre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Accros aux relations \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Je veux cr\u00e9er ma propre famille, celle que je n&rsquo;ai jamais eue. \u00bb Et voil\u00e0 que ma soeur et mon fr\u00e8re font exactement \u00e7a. J&rsquo;ai dit quelque chose comme : \u00ab Je veux avoir la famille que je n&rsquo;ai jamais eue. Mais moi, j&rsquo;avais peur de l&rsquo;engagement, de sauter d&rsquo;une relation \u00e0 l&rsquo;autre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Je n&rsquo;ai de valeur que si je r\u00e9ponds aux besoins de l&rsquo;autre. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Je ne veux que le bien. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Souvent, \u00e0 l&rsquo;\u00e2ge adulte, ces enfants posent des limites si radicales qu&rsquo;ils disparaissent de la vue de leurs parents. \u00bb Je n&rsquo;ai pas parl\u00e9 \u00e0 mon p\u00e8re depuis presque trois mois. Je parle \u00e0 ma m\u00e8re tous les mois ou tous les deux mois, mais je ne suis pas all\u00e9 chez elle depuis pr\u00e8s d&rsquo;un an et demi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">D&rsquo;ailleurs, ce pessimisme de la m\u00e8re qui ne l\u00e2che pas la main de l&rsquo;enfant est tout \u00e0 fait typique d&rsquo;une autre de mes ex-petites amies. Le grand fr\u00e8re \u00e0 qui l&rsquo;on a toujours dit de se d\u00e9brouiller seul, d&rsquo;\u00eatre ind\u00e9pendant. Nah, elle est devenue celle qui a le mieux r\u00e9ussi (femme, bon travail, deux enfants) et la petite s\u0153ur a \u00e9t\u00e9 gard\u00e9e pr\u00e8s de la m\u00e8re, elles s&rsquo;appelaient plusieurs fois par jour, c&rsquo;est sa meilleure amie. Cet ex vit toujours avec ses parents \u00e0 ce jour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ces processus peuvent-ils \u00eatre corrig\u00e9s, invers\u00e9s ? Vous vous occupez, vous prenez conscience, vous r\u00e9fl\u00e9chissez.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab C&rsquo;est contre vous-m\u00eame que vous \u00eates le plus en col\u00e8re. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab Casanova \u00e9tait vraiment amoureux des femmes, et Don Huan voulait conqu\u00e9rir les femmes. \u00bb J&rsquo;\u00e9tais moi-m\u00eame amoureux de mes petites amies. Je pensais que mon r\u00f4le \u00e9tait de les aider. En d&rsquo;autres termes, je voulais les sauver d&rsquo;elles-m\u00eames. Toutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab La parentification &#8230;. est aussi&#8230;. une opportunit\u00e9. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/laszlo8360.files.wordpress.com\/2024\/04\/20240416_124814.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6355\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Az eddigi \u00f6ndiagn\u00f3zisok alapj\u00e1n lehetek ADHD-s, PTSD-s, autista, parentifik\u00e1lt vagy sim\u00e1n csak egyedi. Kadarkai Endre, L\u00e9lekben c\u00edm\u0171 r\u00e1di\u00f3m\u0171sora ma a parentifik\u00e1ci\u00f3r\u00f3l sz\u00f3lt. Most m\u00e1r sz\u00e1nd\u00e9kosan keresem azon pontokat, amik ak\u00e1r r\u00e1m is \u00e9rv\u00e9nyesek lehetnek. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Olyan felel\u0151ss\u00e9gv\u00e1ll\u00e1ssal kell a csal\u00e1dban \u00e9lni\u00fck, ami nem a koruknak megfelel\u0151.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A sz\u00fcl\u0151 \u201enem k\u00e9pes feln\u0151tt m\u00f3don t\u00e1maszt ny\u00fajtani a gyereknek.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Nem fejl\u0151dik ki az a jogosults\u00e1g, hogy jo\u00adgom van a saj\u00e1t sz\u00fcks\u00e9gleteimet \u00e9rv\u00e9nyes\u00edteni.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Nagyon kor\u00e1n elker\u00fclnek otthonr\u00f3l. Kor\u00e1n p\u00e9nzt keresnek.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Bizonytalan k\u00f6t\u0151d\u00e9s. K\u00f6t\u0151dni any\u00e1t\u00f3l tanulunk.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00c9n is vittem csekket a post\u00e1ra hat \u00e9vesen, egyed\u00fcl mentem a boltba, nyolc \u00e9vesen elmentem az \u00f3vod\u00e1ba a kisebb testv\u00e9reim\u00e9rt. \u00c9n ezekre nagy\u00adon b\u00fcszke voltam. Ma sem tartom ezt rendellenesnek. Ezek nem voltak rendszeres alkalmak. Viszont ismerek olyan n\u0151t (egy ex bar\u00e1tn\u0151m), aki t\u00edz \u00e9vesen m\u00e1r teljes eg\u00e9sz\u00e9ben \u00e1tvette az anyai \u00e9s h\u00e1ziasszonyi feladatokat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201eNagyon \u00f6n\u00e1ll\u00f3nak \u00e9rzik magukat.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Egy m\u00e1sik t\u00edpus\u00fa anya, aki bar\u00e1tn\u0151i st\u00e1tuszba helyezi a l\u00e1ny\u00e1t.\u00a0\u00bb Ezek a hugaim.\u00a0\u00bb Tin\u00e9dzser sz\u00fcl\u0151k gyereke va\u00adgyok. Ezt a bar\u00e1tn\u0151i st\u00e1tuszt a hugaim norm\u00e1lisnak v\u00e9lik, kifejezetten b\u00fcszk\u00e9k r\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201eAz a biztons\u00e1g, ha minden rendben van.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Kapcsolatf\u00fcgg\u0151k\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201eL\u00e9tre szeretn\u00e9m hozni a saj\u00e1t csal\u00e1domat, amilyen ne\u00adkem soha nem volt.\u00a0\u00bb \u00c9s l\u00e1m, a h\u00fagom \u00e9s az \u00f6cs\u00e9m pont ezt csin\u00e1lja. Olyat \u00e9n is mondtam, hogy olyan csal\u00e1dot szeretn\u00e9k, ami nekem soha nem volt. Viszont \u00e9n, f\u00e9ltem az elk\u00f6telez\u0151d\u00e9st\u0151l, egyik kap\u00adcsolatb\u00f3l a m\u00e1sikba ugrottam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Akkor vagyok \u00e9rt\u00e9kes, ha kiel\u00e9g\u00edtem a m\u00e1sik ember sz\u00fcks\u00e9glet\u00e9t.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0\u00c9n csak j\u00f3t akarok.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Ezek a gyerekek gyakran &#8211; feln\u0151tt korukra &#8211; olyan drasztikus hat\u00e1rt h\u00faznak, hogy elt\u0171nnek a sz\u00fcl\u0151 l\u00e1t\u00f3ter\u00e9b\u0151l.\u00a0\u00bb Ap\u00e1mmal k\u00f6zel h\u00e1rom h\u00f3napja nem besz\u00e9ltem. Any\u00e1mmal az\u00e9rt havonta, k\u00e9t havonta besz\u00e9lek, de az \u0151 h\u00e1\u00adz\u00e1ban majdnem m\u00e1sf\u00e9l \u00e9ve nem j\u00e1rtam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00fagy ez a pesztr\u00e1lts\u00e1g, hogy az anya nem en\u00adgedi el a gyerek kez\u00e9t ez egy m\u00e1sik ex bar\u00e1tn\u0151mre teljesen jellemz\u0151. A nagytes\u00f3, akinek mindig azt mon\u00addt\u00e1k, hogy old meg egyed\u00fcl, legy\u00e9l \u00f6n\u00e1ll\u00f3. Nah \u0151 lett a sikeresebb (feles\u00e9g, j\u00f3 \u00e1ll\u00e1s, k\u00e9t gyerek) a kishugot meg k\u00f6zel tartotta mag\u00e1hoz az anya, naponta t\u00f6bbsz\u00f6r h\u00edvt\u00e1k egym\u00e1st, \u0151 a legjobb bar\u00e1tn\u0151je. Nos ez az exem a mai napig a sz\u00fcleivel \u00e9l.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jav\u00edthat\u00f3k, visszaford\u00edthat\u00f3ak ezek a folyamatok? \u00d6n gondoskod\u00e1s, tudatoss\u00e1g, \u00f6nreflexi\u00f3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Magadra haragszol a legjobban.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0Casanova t\u00e9nyleg szerelmes volt a n\u0151kbe, don Huan pedig le akarta gy\u0151zni a n\u0151ket.\u00a0\u00bb J\u00f3 magam is szerelmes voltam a bar\u00e1tn\u0151imbe. \u00c9n azt hittem, hogy nekem az a szerepem, hogy seg\u00edtsem \u0151ket. M\u00e1sk\u00e9pp mondva, meg akartam \u0151ket menteni \u00f6nmagu\u00adkt\u00f3l. Mindet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00ab\u00a0A parentifik\u00e1ci\u00f3 &#8230;. egy\u00fattal&#8230;. egy lehet\u0151s\u00e9g.\u00a0\u00bb<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Az eddigi \u00f6ndiagn\u00f3zisok alapj\u00e1n lehetek ADHD-s, PTSD-s, autista, parentifik\u00e1lt vagy sim\u00e1n csak egyedi. Kadarkai Endre, L\u00e9lekben c\u00edm\u0171 r\u00e1di\u00f3m\u0171sora ma a parentifik\u00e1ci\u00f3r\u00f3l sz\u00f3lt. Most m\u00e1r sz\u00e1nd\u00e9kosan keresem azon pontokat, amik ak\u00e1r r\u00e1m is \u00e9rv\u00e9nyesek lehetnek. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1327,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-naplom"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>2024. \u00e1prilis 14. - Varga Laci<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/laszlo8360.com\/2024-aprilis-14\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2024. \u00e1prilis 14. - Varga Laci\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Az eddigi \u00f6ndiagn\u00f3zisok alapj\u00e1n lehetek ADHD-s, PTSD-s, autista, parentifik\u00e1lt vagy sim\u00e1n csak egyedi. Kadarkai Endre, L\u00e9lekben c\u00edm\u0171 r\u00e1di\u00f3m\u0171sora ma a parentifik\u00e1ci\u00f3r\u00f3l sz\u00f3lt. 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